You left. Without even saying bye. Knowing how far away you would be and you knew what I was already going through. You know this would eventually make me upset. I want to hate you. I want to hate you for cheating on me, for pushing me down, for never respecting me, for making me feel like I was worthless, for putting me second to a girl who messes with your head and doesn’t want to be with you, for coming and going when ever you want knowing I am still here so you can call me pathetic, and most of all for never putting an ounce of effort into what we had. I was always giving 95 and you were giving 5. But I stuck around because I thought you would change..I learned the hard way that you cannot ever change a person. I wasted too much time trying to get nothing. I didn’t want to let go and I still can’t. I know the first time we dated I screwed it up and I’m so sorry for that and apologized way too many times. I still can’t forgive myself because the thought of hurting you hurts me. But you got me back and tore me apart. So I hope you got what you wanted. I can’t be mad at you though because I am more scared than mad. I am so proud of you for what you are doing. You’re a very strong and brave person. Maybe when you get back I’ll get the apology I’m looking for to make me stop feeling this way. I expect too much from you though so I’m trying not to get my hopes up. I miss you.